Is “Unconditional Love” a good thing?

To answer that question we must first ask: what IS “Unconditional Love”?

Unconditional Love is a healthy connection rooted in a fundamentally loving and respectful perspective on human beings. That high regard includes your sense of self-worth too, based on the the belief  we are all worthy of love.

When you love, and are loved unconditionally, you don’t feel the need to play head games with each other. You know not to take it personally when your partner is in a bad mood, you encourage him/her to talk about their feelings with the patience and compassion needed to get through it.  Above all, because it is a TRUSTING, accepting, secure love, that includes respect for the other’s and  your own boundaries, you both know you are in it for the long haul, and  you can’t see yourselves ever being with anyone else.

Easy-peasy, right?

Not quite. It is easy to confuse  “Unconditional Love” with  “Boundary-less Love”,   but they are not the same. Unconditional love is healthy,  Boundary-less love is not.  It is easy to misconstrue the “Unconditional Love”

meaning by interpreting it to mean that you’re justified in loving your partner no matter how they badly they treat you. Abuse hates boundaries.  To recognize the differences, we must let these two different kinds of love speak.

“Unconditional Love” says: You can be your authentic self with me. My love for you is not dependent on a performance. I love and accept you, including your flaws and weaknesses. I choose to be with you because I trust you and know you will never willfully hurt me.

“Boundary-less” love says: I love you, no matter what. You can behave in any way you like, without consequences for our relationship.  You are not bound by truthfulness or respect and I accept that because I am committed to take you the way you are, and I will stick by you even if  your actions compromise my own integrity, health, spirit and needs.

Can you HEAR and SEE the difference? Most importantly, can you see the outcome for everyone involved? One kind of love fosters security, mental health, trust and has an outlook on the future. The other one simply does not.  You now have the tools to decide which one you should choose.

 

POSITIVE THOUGHTS: Strength

It has been said: LIFE GOES ON. Yes, it’s true, like it or not life does go on, but today -and every day- you have a chance to make a new decision about HOW it goes. You will not get it perfectly, and you will mess up some every day, just don’t stop trying and trying again.  Each day can bring you closer to your  goals, and dreams.

And sometimes that means leaving your past goals and dreams behind and looking for newer, better for you and others, goals and dreams. Other time it may mean to accept a situation that actually goes against our own nature and expectations and make the best out of it.

This photograph of a majestic olive tree, still thriving in spite of being surrounded by chlorine and cement, says it all!

The ability to change and grow – in spite of set backs-  is true strength and beauty!

 

Olive tree poolSignedClick HERE to look at NATURE’s Strength

 

thinking about the future

It is so TRUE:  You can’t have a better tomorrow if you don’t stop thinking about yesterday… 

 

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